i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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