yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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