you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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