People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
