I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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