Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
