So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
