Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
