She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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