What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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