I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
