chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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