I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
