Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
