if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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