You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
