You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
