The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
