Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
