You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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