Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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