I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
