Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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