Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
