And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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