you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
