you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
