your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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