Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
