I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
