I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize