lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize