Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
