Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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