I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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