Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
