how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
