he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
