just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
my liver is dry heaving
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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