my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize