so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
