He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
