Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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