So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
