if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
