Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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