My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
