trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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