Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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