But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
