Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
