with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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