yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
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