i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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