I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize