my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
