Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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